Well it is a while since I have written just because life is so full, visiting the hospital daily with all the daily happenings of my own family in addition. Last week my father was also taken into a different hospital and so I had to visit Mum then travel on to see my Dad in the opposite direction. My whole life seems to be taken over. Christmas is one week away but I have barely organised anything. My eldest daughter moved into a new flat, I was unable to share her joy as I had to transport Dad to visit Mum as he had just come out of hospital himself!
So, how has Mum been.....the first few weeks in hospital she had aggressive outbursts daily and was manic, wandering and unsettled. We were invited to a ward meeting where the drugs she was on were outlined and her future use of them. Occasionally feedback is given after ward round on Wednesdays and as my Dad was unwell it was given to me last week. Just slightly worrying that the doctor seems to not be following the pattern of the agreed dosage. e.g. at the meeting it was said that quitiepine would be reduced and yet it seems to be increased. Sleeping tablets have been now become routine. Slightly worrying for me as my aims are not to have Mum asleep in a chair all day,staff comments are always that it is nice to see her settled (when she is in one place in a chair)...quality of the life she has is my aim.
Yesterday was a bit unsettling. dad had been in hospital for 3 days and so unable to visit (although I had done so each day) so whether Mums reaction was because she hadn't seen him or because she has increased thinking power on the new drug I am not sure. Mum was not happy to see me because the previous day when my sister and I had called she was cross with us because 'we could not even give her 10 minutes to take her in the car to home'. I was a witch and I was not taking Dad home without her. She took my car keys out of my bag and became verbally aggressive . She clearly wanted to get out of hospital and go home. I can't say I blame her and how I wish i could take her but know that over christmas there would be no support whatsoever and with my Dad's impending return to hospital for one night , it was impossible.
Mum went on to sit on dad's lap , plead with him to take her home in view of all the patients, staff and visitors. She had all of us in tears of laughter and sadness at her comments. 'How can we leave her there she had been walking the streets of London for 2 months, she would come home and cook, clean even paint the walls if only we would take her!
The sister had to set up a diversion and take her to the bathroom so we could escape but of course that leaves her not trusting us again as we didn't say goodbye properly. Her comments indicated she wanted to come home to have her hair done properly....how could Dad not take her as he had promised to cherish her!! All emotional blackmail but how many of us would like to be behind closed doors and away from our home.... how we wished we could take her, she is so nearly ready for home but not quite.
We also know that when she comes , it will be fine for a while but the underlying distress of the illness will never go away and there will be periods when we can't cope. Mum is so fortunate to have the constant support from Dad, many people would walk away and not be able to cope with the situation. Not a day goes by without Dad being there unless he is in hospital himself!
There are several other patients in the ward where their husbands or wives come without fail on a daily basis. I know the disruption and dedication it demands.
