Who would have thought a year ago, that my beautiful Mum would be unable to enjoy her life and be a prisoner within her own body and house. Who would have thought it was possible for someone who loved going out, spending money on other people to become the complete reverse. Life has to end for everyone but this is a cruel disease when you see someone you love deteriorating slowly and becoming the reverse of her personality. A morning spent crying but then the mood can change , wanting to go back to live at her place of birth and yet even there she would be in turmoil and wanting to be elsewhere...what cruel torment.
Any upsides? Well seeing moments of joy as she hugs her granddaughter as if she hasn't seen her for years, having a chuckle as a foster son runs in with a 'hi nanny!' but these moments are few and far between.

Just two weeks ago she was taken into a psychiatric ward as she became out of control with her actions and needed to be reassessed with medication. This became a living nightmare when the ward contacted a bug and we were unable to visit for 10 days. How did she feel? did the feelings of abandonment speed up the decline? Did the environment with so many characters with similar problems contribute too, who knows but we cannot go back in time. All I know is that there are so many people in similar circumstances but with no family to visit or care but my Dad and I have decided to do the best we can and make her remaining time with us as pleasant and comfortable as we can. Dad, well he has the patience of a saint and treats her like a queen. We are both learning to distract and ignore the horrid words of the illness but at times it is hard.